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That's Not Important, now.

oh, moment is over.

I said this on Twitter minutes ago, and I’ll say it again here. Some people find the uncertainty of life refreshing. I don’t though, I fucking hate it. I hate it so much that I want to grab it by the scruff of the neck and slam it repeatedly against the pavement until it leaves pretty Pollock inspired designs. Am I getting my point across? No? Well, I’m the type of person who reads the last chapter of a book a quarter of the way in so I can know bits of what happens before I get to it, I browse the web for spoilers and ask people how movies end. I don’t like being surprised. I’m a boring person. Most of my day to day life is the same, and yes it’s fucking boring but I like it that way. I wouldn’t want or possibly be able to handle anything else. This does conflict with my husband’s military career, or job as it seems because they’re making it harder for one to make a career of the military.

Today, the husband and I were talking about how fucking screwed up everything is, more specifically about how the government of our fine country is trying to fuck over the military. Cutting funding, forcing people to leave the military and making it harder to stay in if you want to. To be honest with you, the military is the best option for people like my husband who need that extra little push to get up everyday and go to work. Not to mention, it provides a great lifestyle for people like us, who don’t have children and can manage our finances. The government has changed the GI bill about 8 billion times making it worse each time, they’re talking about taking away 20 year retirement options, cutting housing allotments, taking away promotion availability, veteran benefits and pretty much pissing me the fuck off. They’re taking away a lot of the reasons one joins the military full time, instead of being a reservist and trying to get your benefits that way. It scares me, because there is a lot of security offered living the military lifestyle.

I don’t work a lot, I’ve recently decided to get off my ass and go back to school and maybe, possibly get a degree worth a shit and none of that would be possible if it wasn’t for my husband’s military career. I’m thankful everyday, not just on days where bad things happen, but all the time. His job makes my life a shit load easier, to the point that I don’t know if I could exist otherwise. I hate working, I’m not good at anything and I’m pretty much only qualified to work retail. There’s really no way, no way at all that we sustain our current lifestyle working bullshit jobs in the real world, not that there are jobs available mind you. It scares me, so very much that in three short years, actually two and some change at this point, that my life could change forever.

It’s too damn hard to exist. Too difficult to survive. Most of the time you can be happy that you’ve got a house to live in, car to drive and food to eat and maybe a bit of spending money on the side. If my husband gets out of the military, we’re not going to be destitute but it will be a very rocky road, no doubt about that.

On here, I wanted to discuss how angry I am but now I’m finding myself more terrified than angry.


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