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That's Not Important, now.

oh, moment is over.

Oh, were does one find motivation? Why haven’t the bottled it yet and sell it to the masses?

I could use some right about now. I have work today, I need to leave in an hour to make that dreaded 45 minute to an hour drive to work. It kills me everyday that I make the drive, that’s why I’m leaving my long distance job.

I digress, I lose track of what I want to talk about very easily.

Right now, my job dominates what I think and how I feel about everything else. When I’m not at work, I’m trying to lounge and relax and nothing think about work. I hate my job. I’m sick of dealing with not only the people who come into the store but the girls I work with. I’m leaving the store, I won’t be working there as a manager any more and that begins at the end of the month and I can tell everyone knows now. It’s beginning to make me feel like the self-conscious teenager again, the one I hated and the one that I a buried deep into my being never to be seen again. They’re pushing me out, they’re making me feel like everything I do just doesn’t matter or makes me hated. I see them whispering and looking at me, it’s making me want to scream and the worse part is that I have no one to talk to about it. Dammit, I’m fucking 23 years old, why the hell am I feeling like this? I’d rather not have to deal with this but I said I’d stay until the end of the month, so I will.

Oh, the anger builds and makes me all irritable. Do you know that anger? Do you understand what it feels like to want to stab someone in the eye with a pencil? Oh, I could scream! The worst part is, is that I don’t like these people any way. Dammit, I’m 16 again.

I don’t mean to have a whiny post here, promise, I just wanted to get it off my chest.


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